Today I’m writing about another dad. My children’s dad. My husband.
For although he isn’t my dad he has been the most amazing dad to our children and for this I want to recognize him.
When our eldest son Jason was born it became quickly apparent that our little baby was going to require two full time parents to manage his colic. I held him during the day, often not getting anything done because the moment I put him down he would begin to scream. As soon as his daddy got home from a very long and tiring day at work he began “2nd shift” of Jason holding. Those were long nights and Tim often slept in the chair so he could continually rock Jason. As time went by things improved and although Jason was about 3 before he really began sleeping through the night the all night rocking sessions became fewer and fewer.
But then came Cale! Initially Cale was a baby who you had to remind yourself was in the house. He ate and slept. Pretty content little fellow. But on September 2, 1983 our lives took a sharp turn and life, as we knew it, changed forever.
On that date my mom got the phone call that she’d always feared. My dad’s plane was lost. In the British Columbia wilderness. Initially it was assumed that it had landed somewhere awaiting the weather to clear and that the next phone call would be from my dad saying everything was ok.
That call never came.
So within the first week of the initial phone call Tim and I and baby Cale flew to British Columbia to begin a search for my dad. Our 2 year old Jason went to stay with my cousin Linda and her then husband Chan. Linda’s dad Tom was also on the plane with my dad.
I remember clearly the conversation I had with Tim the day the phone call came:
I said: Tim, I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to British Columbia with my mom.
Tim said: Cheryllyn, I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to British Columbia to find your dad.
I’m not going to go into detail about the weeks, months and years that followed because that is not my intent at this time. What I am now writing about is the father of my children. My modern day hero Tim and why this Father’s Day I am spending more time writing about him than my own dad.
I call Tim a modern day hero because he never says I can’t. During my dad’s search he was up in a plane every day craning his neck as he looked out the window hoping for a glimpse of the plane. He was in a plane that caught on fire and instead of panicking he immediately helped put out the fire so the pilot could land safely. He held my mother’s hand when he told her they had to return to New York because conditions had become too dangerous to continue the search. He returned the following year to search again. Literally walking away from the business he worked so hard to begin.
Despite the tragedy that became a part of our daily lives we wanted to have more children. When our son Ian was born he was the light we needed to continue on. Watching his older brothers smile at their new baby brother let Tim and I know that somehow we would get through. As Ian grew he always wanted to do whatever his big brothers were doing. And Tim smiled and smiled as he watched his boys playing together.
And you can’t even imagine our surprise when our 4th baby was a girl! A wonderful surprise to both of us. We had tried to imagine what it would be like to have a daughter but when she was born Tim was beaming.
4 children under the age of 7. A growing business. Helping my mom take care of 5000 acres and many buildings. Helping friends. Being a caring and loving husband to me.
One day he came home from work and I said: “We need to move.”
Move! Tim had helped to build our house in Schuyler. We thought we’d live there forever. But for me the pain of my father’s absence and the long hours Tim had to put in at work-along with those treacherous drives home in the winter, made me realize that we had to move closer to his business.
This was not an easy decision because I knew how hard it would be for us to leave my mom. But I also knew that mom would understand because we always do what is best for our children. For me I knew that our children needed time with their dad more than anything else and by moving closer to his business that had a better chance of happening.
So despite that unexpected request, Tim said ok and the search for a new house began. Fast forward to 2011. We live in our dream house. It’s a dream because Tim had the chance to renovate it-his longtime dream-and it’s only a short drive to any of his stores.
In 1993 he fell off a ladder at our Briarwood Lane house and destroyed his elbow. Despite the excruciating pain he was in he still flew to Orlando because he had promised the kids a trip to Disney World. Just days after returning he was in the Hospital for Special Surgery having a new elbow made out of his hip. Even that didn’t stop him. As soon as he returned home-just in time for Elizabeth’s first day of kindergarten, he was back at work.
For nearly a year he had to stop each day and hook his arm up to a rotating machine for therapy.
When most people would have quit, Tim forged ahead.
When our boys became teenagers and really tested our patience, Tim never walked away. He would follow them in the night and get up early in the morning if they were at a friend’s house-just to make sure they were safe. Oh that’s not to say they still managed to pull some pranks that he wasn’t aware of. And some were pretty significant! But he never walked away from those responsibilities of being a dad.
And as we fast forward to today you will find Tim still being a dad every day. With his 2 youngest sons working by his side he’s able to maintain his calm demeanor even on those days when his sons have had their fill of each other. He knows how to gently remind them that family comes first.
And now that he’s a grandfather he can see every day that all of his efforts have really paid off. With 2 granddaughters to dote on his heart has just grown with more love and pride for his family. He treats his daughter-in-laws as if they were his own and never lets his daughter Elizabeth forget that she will always be his little girl.
I have the most amazing husband who I am proud to say is the world’s best dad to our children.
No comments:
Post a Comment