An Amazing Dad

Although one would think that since Father’s Day is approaching I would be writing about my dad. I will. Just not right now.
Today I’m writing about another dad. My children’s dad. My husband.

For although he isn’t my dad he has been the most amazing dad to our children and for this I want to recognize him.
When our eldest son Jason was born it became quickly apparent that our little baby was going to require two full time parents to manage his colic. I held him during the day, often not getting anything done because the moment I put him down he would begin to scream. As soon as his daddy got home from a very long and tiring day at work he began “2nd shift” of Jason holding. Those were long nights and Tim often slept in the chair so he could continually rock Jason. As time went by things improved and although Jason was about 3 before he really began sleeping through the night the all night rocking sessions became fewer and fewer.
But then came Cale! Initially Cale was a baby who you had to remind yourself was in the house. He ate and slept. Pretty content little fellow. But on September 2, 1983 our lives took a sharp turn and life, as we knew it, changed forever.
On that date my mom got the phone call that she’d always feared. My dad’s plane was lost. In the British Columbia wilderness. Initially it was assumed that it had landed somewhere awaiting the weather to clear and that the next phone call would be from my dad saying everything was ok.
That call never came.
So within the first week of the initial phone call Tim and I and baby Cale flew to British Columbia to begin a search for my dad. Our 2 year old Jason went to stay with my cousin Linda and her then husband Chan. Linda’s dad Tom was also on the plane with my dad.
I remember clearly the conversation I had with Tim the day the phone call came:
I said: Tim, I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to British Columbia with my mom.
Tim said: Cheryllyn, I hope you don’t mind but I’m going to British Columbia to find your dad.
I’m not going to go into detail about the weeks, months and years that followed because that is not my intent at this time. What I am now writing about is the father of my children. My modern day hero Tim and why this Father’s Day I am spending more time writing about him than my own dad.

I call Tim a modern day hero because he never says I can’t. During my dad’s search he was up in a plane every day craning his neck as he looked out the window hoping for a glimpse of the plane. He was in a plane that caught on fire and instead of panicking he immediately helped put out the fire so the pilot could land safely. He held my mother’s hand when he told her they had to return to New York because conditions had become too dangerous to continue the search. He returned the following year to search again. Literally walking away from the business he worked so hard to begin.
Despite the tragedy that became a part of our daily lives we wanted to have more children. When our son Ian was born he was the light we needed to continue on. Watching his older brothers smile at their new baby brother let Tim and I know that somehow we would get through. As Ian grew he always wanted to do whatever his big brothers were doing. And Tim smiled and smiled as he watched his boys playing together.
And you can’t even imagine our surprise when our 4th baby was a girl! A wonderful surprise to both of us. We had tried to imagine what it would be like to have a daughter but when she was born Tim was beaming.
4 children under the age of 7. A growing business. Helping my mom take care of 5000 acres and many buildings. Helping friends. Being a caring and loving husband to me.
One day he came home from work and I said: “We need to move.”
Move! Tim had helped to build our house in Schuyler. We thought we’d live there forever. But for me the pain of my father’s absence and the long hours Tim had to put in at work-along with those treacherous drives home in the winter, made me realize that we had to move closer to his business.
This was not an easy decision because I knew how hard it would be for us to leave my mom. But I also knew that mom would understand because we always do what is best for our children. For me I knew that our children needed time with their dad more than anything else and by moving closer to his business that had a better chance of happening.
So despite that unexpected request, Tim said ok and the search for a new house began. Fast forward to 2011. We live in our dream house. It’s a dream because Tim had the chance to renovate it-his longtime dream-and it’s only a short drive to any of his stores.

In 1993 he fell off a ladder at our Briarwood Lane house and destroyed his elbow. Despite the excruciating pain he was in he still flew to Orlando because he had promised the kids a trip to Disney World. Just days after returning he was in the Hospital for Special Surgery having a new elbow made out of his hip. Even that didn’t stop him. As soon as he returned home-just in time for Elizabeth’s first day of kindergarten, he was back at work.
For nearly a year he had to stop each day and hook his arm up to a rotating machine for therapy.
When most people would have quit, Tim forged ahead.
When our boys became teenagers and really tested our patience, Tim never walked away. He would follow them in the night and get up early in the morning if they were at a friend’s house-just to make sure they were safe. Oh that’s not to say they still managed to pull some pranks that he wasn’t aware of. And some were pretty significant! But he never walked away from those responsibilities of being a dad.
And as we fast forward to today you will find Tim still being a dad every day. With his 2 youngest sons working by his side he’s able to maintain his calm demeanor even on those days when his sons have had their fill of each other. He knows how to gently remind them that family comes first.
And now that he’s a grandfather he can see every day that all of his efforts have really paid off. With 2 granddaughters to dote on his heart has just grown with more love and pride for his family. He treats his daughter-in-laws as if they were his own and never lets his daughter Elizabeth forget that she will always be his little girl.
I have the most amazing husband who I am proud to say is the world’s best dad to our children.

How lucky we are

Celebrated Father's Day a little early so on Sunday Cale could have the day with his precious daughter's. Also gives Liz the day to have with her dad. Maggie's dad and mom are off to Maryland to celebrate a relatives 60th wedding anniversary.
Elizabeth prepared a delicious meal followed by an amazing chocolate peanut butter cake that Liz made. Maggie brought Molly's favorite-fruit salad!

As you can see Grampa is pretty crazy about his newest granddaughter and very good at comforting his oldest granddaughter.

Any day you get to spend with all of your family is a special day.

Jason

Cale

Ian

Elizabeth

Liz

Maggie

Molly full of sweetness!

Yes, we are lucky.

She was something special

This past week was an anniversary in our family. Not a happy one but one we pause to remember each year on June 8.

In 1995, at the all too young age of 61, my mom died from colon cancer.

In the back: Uncle Rodney, Aunt Ruby, Aunt Sharon, Uncle Kellas. This photo was taken on June 7, 1995.
I think she died of a broken heart for once my dad disappeared she spent her days waiting for his return. And with every passing day a little bit of her became lost as well. Oh I don't mean she acted lost, no she was a strong woman. She had few fears and she spoke her mind. She was the best at understanding a confidence. And she treated every grandchild as if they were her favorite. She loved flowers and she loved sunsets. I saw a beautiful sunset in Sylvan Beach Tuesday night and thought of mom when I snapped a photo of it.

On Wednesday I chose to remember her by spending the afternoon planting flowers. It was definitely a very hot day - about 95 degrees and despite being very warm I loved the opportunity to get my hands into the earth and add more color to my yard. Here are just a few of the plants. Still have 4 miniature daisies to plant-hopefully tomorrow!

Here I am with one of my all time favorite cousins. Amy. My mom's niece and a true treasure to all of us. I just had the pleasure of spending a week with her in April and it looks like I'm going to have another fantastic week with her the end of this month. Can't wait!

So how does one honor their mom? Be good to your children. Love them like each day was your last. Spend time with them-regularly. I'm lucky to have 4 adult children as well as two special daughter-in-laws and 2 precious granddaughters. We get together-regularly. My mom would have liked that. I know I do.

Morning Dew

Woke up far earlier than usual this morning and decided to venture outside and get a couple of snapshots of the yard. This time of year every day is an explosion of color. Spring and Summer are my favorite seasons and if possible I would pause the need for sleep so as not to miss a moment.

A bike ride through Sylvan Beach on Saturday afternoon was a great way to enjoy time with Tim and get some exercise. It's a great place to ride because most of the area is flat with plenty of sidewalks and side streets to keep away from the traffic. We biked through Verona Beach State Park and then stopped at The Sea Shell restaurant for an early dinner. The views from their dining room area perfect for sunset evenings.
Sunday was a day I insisted Tim go out in the fishing boat with Ian-again to Sylvan Beach. Today they're looking to get a boat big enough for the family to troll around the lake. They've been researching for a long time and hopefully they'll soon find just what they're looking for.

Getting ready to drop the tractor off for some much needed repairs!

We call this Camp Tallman. Who needs black flies in the Adirondacks when you can just walk out your back door, enjoy a crackling fire and not get eaten up by those little black devils?

Despite what started with overcast skies we managed to have an impromptu cookout Sunday afternoon. Molly enjoyed finding all the blueberries in the fruit salad. Her darling baby sister snuggled and slept through most of the fun.

A great lady

My Aunt Naomi, an older sister of my dad, is one amazing woman. When she was born (in Gassaway, West Virginia) the doctor placed her on the floor because she was what they called a blue baby. She was born at home as many babies were in the 1920's. Her dad was downstairs awaiting the news and for some reason felt compelled to go up- stairs and check on the situation-something he never did. He went over to where she was laying and picked her up-thus saving her.

That was the beginning of what was to be an incredible journey. Despite the times - the depression was just around the corner - my dad's family managed very well. My granddad worked for the railroad which supplied a steady income. As the years passed there would be a total of 11 children born to Cecil and Clara Cogar. In their 60's they actually adopted a baby girl and named her after my grandmother.

As far as Aunt Naomi's life she went on to marry John Garee who would become a Master Sergeant in the Air Force. His career took them around the globe and all of their 5 children were born in various stops along their travels. The year I turned 40 I took my family to Arlington National Cemetery where we visited my Uncle John's grave. If you have never been to that sacred place it should be on your Bucket List. As quiet as it is you can hear the voices of all the men and women who keep us safe.

At one point Uncle John and Aunt Naomi were stationed in Rome, New York and we went to visit them. My first experience bowling was with them-I go a 0! Couldn't ever get the bowling ball out of the gutter! But I remember thinking it was so fun!

Aunt Naomi was a trail blazer for women. She held positions throughout her life that propelled the careers of women to follow. As just one example she was elected president of the board for the Herkimer County Chamber of Commerce – the first woman to hold the post since the chamber was organized in 1968. Her resume today would require several pages but first and foremost she is a woman who loves her family and her friends.

Life was unfair to her many times in her life but she has chosen to keep that beautiful smile and happy outlook. She lost her youngest son Bob to cancer a few years ago. I know how devastated I was to lose him, I cannot imagine how she found
the strength to get through those horrible days. But she is woman who can conquer anything.

When I visited with her yesterday she joked about her ability to dominate
a conversation. I realize that's how she may be perceived by some-a woman who can
tell her stories continually for hours on end. But for me, hearing her voice is
like a sweet song. And seeing her is a reminder to the days when my parents were
still here and all the fun we had whenever she was visiting. Aunt Naomi is that Aunt that everyone wishes they had. She embraces you with her smile and her laughter. She makes you feel loved even when you've said goodbye. If you have an Aunt like Naomi make sure to keep in touch with her. Women like her are rare and very special.

The early years.
Aunt Naomi's youngest daughter Joyce on the left in the white dress eating candy.
I'm in the red shorts with my sister Cassandra in the blue shorts. That's our cousin Linda in the back with the pink shirt. My brother Clay is sticking out his tongue and Janet-Aunt Naomi's eldest daughter is next to Clay.

My dad always had his camera ready (hmm-must be where I get that from!) Too many faces to name in this photo but fun to look at! Unfortunately some are no longer with us.

Here we are in Kansas for Bob and Charlotte's wedding. Clay on the left, then Aunt Naomi, me and my soon to be husband Tim-we were married 1 month after Bob and Charlotte.

Bob and his baby sister Joyce on the day of Bob's youngest son Alex's wedding.